By Ayesha Ashley – Brandt Group National Trainer
Are you a person who loves to interact and be social, connect and talk with others, even people on line at the market? Are you energized by interaction and sorry to see the party end? If there’s no one else around do you 1) call them on the phone or 2) talk to yourself/your pet/your plants? Then you’re probably an extrovert.
Do you love solitude, need to recoup your energies after a long day of interaction, love quiet and turn your phone off when you need ‘down time’, don’t appreciate being interrupted at work or when you’re concentrating? Then you’re probably an introvert.
Extroverts are ready to interact – we live to interact. Introverts love to sit alone and process their thoughts. How can we be kind to each other? Extroverts, I’m afraid the introverts see us as space invaders – we’re always in their face, looking to connect while they’re silently hoping they can get some space to finish work/rest up/think/process the day.
AND, extroverts outnumber introverts by three to one in our population! (There’s no justice!) Even one extrovert can out-talk three introverts—so it’s as if they’re surrounded all the time by interrupters, babblers and yes, space invaders.
Extroverts can party on/multitask or work through interruptions and never realize that they can easily exhaust their introverted spouses/ children/ coworkers or friends.
Introverts really do need time and space to recuperate from the constant interaction that hums in their lives. Maybe a half hour ‘time out’ or No Talk Zone when they get home will give them the solitude they need to recoup their energy.
Introverts, you need to let others know that you need your space and some alone time to recharge—make a boundary and insist on it! You can use a humorous sign, like ‘Genius at work—do not disturb’.
One thing that seems to astonish Introverts is the revelation that extroverts don’t think before they speak. They just blurt it out and know what they think when they hear what they’ve said. (I’s have suspected this for a long time, but now it can be told).
E’s have a long acquaintance with Foot in Mouth disease. Extroverts, if you have an introverted friend/partner/child, recognize that they need less time with you than you might like. They’re not sulking or depressed, they just want to read a book, finish their task, listen to music, or just sit and process/think. They’ll be back when they’re ready, grateful that you didn’t press them for more interaction.
Introverts, if you have an extroverted friend/partner/child/coworker, recognize that they are not ‘needy’ if they want to interact—they live to interact! They don’t know your preferences or boundaries until you TELL them—yes, you can’t just think it and have the extroverts get it! Here’s some suggestions for the workplace:
EXTROVERTS: Please recognize that introverts do NOT want you to
a) interrupt their work to chat with you
b) borrow stuff from their desk without asking
c) make snap decisions about projects or events—can they get back to you tomorrow after they’ve had a chance to think about it?
d) talk about irrelevant stuff when they’re concentrating on a task INTROVERTS
Please recognize that extroverts need you to:
a) make clear boundaries about when/where you are open to interact
b) TELL them what you need and want—they cannot guess and they are NOT like you—their priorities may be different. At work, we need both types. Extraverts get projects and ideas going, but introverts are better at follow-up and follow-through. Let’s appreciate what each type brings to the table!
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